Rabbi & Maggid Charna Rosenholtz
My Story
Dedicated to the memory and legacy of Reb Zalman
I remember being a young girl who pondered purpose and meaning. I wondered: why are we here, and how did we get here? I yearned to know God, yet my secular upbringing did not bring me closer to answering the tough questions that stirred within me. Over the years, my yearning increased, and still, I felt distant from finding what I was looking for. In January of 1990, I had a vision and connection with something that came from outside of me, a connection to the Divine Mystery, to a Voice of Truth. This brought delight, wonder, and faith. I have been following this moment ever since, learning how to deepen the connection, how to serve something greater than myself.
With the encouragement of my dear cousin Rod, I found a synagogue near me that was offering an adult Bnei Mitzvah program. I joined the group and became a bat mitzvah at the age of 36 - an auspicious age! I remember preparing for the big day. All my classmates told me that I should be a Rabbi. Ha! I said. That would never happen.
The Treasure of Torah
That year, I began to study Torah. Our ‘leaderless’ group delved into text, caressing each word we would study until the meaning emerged, balancing old sage wisdom with our modern lives. This continues to be the foundation of my life; I am now in my twenty-ninth year of weekly Torah study. I am ever a student with this magnificent treasure chest of wisdom and guidance. Torah is the lamp that lights my path, and I am blessed to be able to share this with many, of all ages, faiths, and beliefs. Over the years, many times I heard people say – you should be a Rabbi. Yeah right! I said. That will never happen.
The Maggid’s Path
While studying in the late 1990’s, I learned about the Maggid (which can be: Hebrew wisdom teacher, storyteller, soul provocateur and/or angelic presence). I was called alive; a stirring within me began to connect my soul work with everyday life. I began to train with wisdom teachers and was formally recognized as a Maggid in 2007, with the blessing of my two beloved teachers Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi z”l and Rabbi Tirzah Firestone. During this process people would say to me – you should be a Rabbi. Hmmm. I said – I don’t think so. Not for me; it will never happen.
Hearing the Call
So what happened? Why did I decide to pursue becoming a Rabbi and to spend the rest of my life on this path? In my heart/mind, a Rabbi is one who upholds the scaffolding of the Jewish tradition, who looks at what has come before, and then helps shape practices into the future. Until December 12th 2012 (12/12/12) I did not feel that was my deployment in the world. On that auspicious day I heard a different call, a different set of marching orders, a different way of being in the world. I saw the structures of the tradition in a new way.
And I realized that the power and gravitas of the role was a platform for bringing what Rabbi Heschel call spiritual grandeur and moral audacity into the world. I consulted with a dear friend, Rabbi Sunny Schnitzer, and with his support, decided it was time to make a shift, to ask for smichah from above. I vowed to submit myself to the process, the struggle, the grueling inner work of purification, necessary for shifting roles in the world.
Living the Legacy of Reb Zalman
This brief story would not be complete without speaking to the great Reb Zalman z”l. I first learned of him in 1994, through Rabbi Jack Gabriel. I felt so aligned with his teachings that I read everything that I could find, and then was lucky enough to see him regularly, as he offered teachings in the Boulder area, close to where I lived. I began to study with him personally in 2004, and over the course of the next nine years was lucky enough to receive his blessing, his wisdom, and his story. His vision and particular love of all humans runs through my veins. I am committing the rest of my life to his legacy. And remember – never say never! When we allow life to bring us to new horizons, anything is possible!
My Vision
I want to be a voice that both embraces the traditions of Judaism, even as I challenge them. I will continue to bring my background of somatic therapy into the understanding of religious practice. I am interested in bringing skillful means and relational ethics forward. I am committed to using sacred text from all traditions to bring forth ecumenical dialogue to repair our moral compass. I will endeavor to bring a woman’s voice, one that embraces Eros and shadow work into Torah study. I promise to ensure that all voices matter and that learning curves are honored, particularly marginalized voices. I am here to serve and I thank you for your support.
Gratitude
Deep thanks to Nina R, Bob L, Gil H, Adele E, Orly P, Esther S, who were part of my first Torah Study Group.
I also want to acknowledge the role Rabbi Jack Gabriel played as my first Rabbi ever. He brought song, joy, and Jewish Renewal to my life.
My root teachers in this world are Samuel Avital and Sarah Yehudit Schneider. Each of them has helped to form and shape my understanding of Hebrew wisdom and its applications.
To my spiritual family “The Maggidim,” I would not have become my true Self in this world without your love and support. Thank you for everything.
To all my students – past, present, future – I am indebted to you. You help bring the text alive, bring honesty to my teachings, give me a reason to continue. I so appreciate you.
Thank you to my mentors Rabbi Tirzah Firestone and Rabbi Marc Soloway. You have shown the way, of how to be graceful and loving, knowledgeable and innovative, honest to the tradition yet willing to grow. Your presence has inspired and influenced me in so many ways.
To my beloved friends – I wish I could name you all...please know that you are in my heart and I have so much gratitude for your presence in all that I do.
To my dearest of Friends - Adele, Deb, Franktinus, Cedar, and Shoshana L - who walk with me in the details of my life, whose support has allowed me to heal, grow, and learn to trust myself, I cherish your presence in the world.
To my family, thank you for sharing today’s joy with me.
And to my beloved children Jason, Ali and Amanda – I am forever with you in this journey called life!
In Memoriam
There are several people who have passed on, that remain a part of my everyday life. The first is my beloved Aunt Gert (Gittel bat Charna), who taught me unconditional love and provided reflection. Her heart is my heart, her love of family embedded deeply within me.
My spiritual journey began in earnest in 1990, after a conversation I had with God. My first two spiritual teachers, Jacque Metheaney and Karen Sharp, brought me into a world of wisdom, mystery, and ethical conduct that shaped who I have become. I miss them both dearly, and may their memories continue to bless all who knew them.
To my beloved chevruta Frank Guerra: our time together was short yet fruitful beyond words.
And lastly, a dedication to two beloved friends who for many years were the wind beneath my wings. Rima Miller and Jesse Masterson, you left this world way too soon. Yet a part of you lives forever in me. Thank you, thank you Dear Ones.
Videos
Here are two short talks I recently gave. One on yearning, and one on the divine name Elohim.
Yearning and the territory of the heart
Musings on the name Elohim.
Senior Teshuvah
Click below to view or download my senior teshuvah – a final project exploring halachic considerations and possible innovations in preparing a person for burial.
If you wish to honor me…
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Stay in touch – visit my website.
Key, spiraling clockwise from top left: (1) Chief Niwot - Arapaho Chief when the gold prospectors came to Boulder. It is upon Arapaho, Ute, Cheyenne land that I live. (2) Torah - my lamp. (3) Rosh HaNiqrah, in Israel, in the land of Asher and Serach - you can see the ledge I jumped off of, on the right. (4) Water from a rock...the endless stream of Hashem's grace and bounty. (5) My Grandma Charna and four of her seven children - this is part of her passport picture. (6) Moi. (7) Purim!!!!!!!!!! (8) The Maggidic Journey Chevrah. (9) Da Bears! (10) A different view of Boulder flatirons - taken from my home. (11) Golden Aspen in Rocky Mountain National Park, on the Alberta Falls Trail. (12) Map of Northern Colorado, where I have lived for 36 years of my life. (13-14) My children - Jason and Amanda.
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